Day 361 - Looking Ahead

"It is a good way to get going on the new year."

I have tried to approach life in many different ways over the years. Before I had the responsibilities I currently have, or have had in recent years, it was easy to go with the current. The relaxed approach and last minute planning worked well enough. 

When I married my wife it drove her nuts. Having kids made us prepare like crazy so I had to change. Thankfully kids require less as they grow older. 

As my responsibilities increased at church I found myself planning services and series. The seasons helped as well as having a team of people who had gifts and abilities that I didn't have. My wife helped me with this as well. Thankfully we have been able to work at the same place since we have been married. 

Eventually I was overseeing everything at the church and I found I was at the end of myself. It was at this point that I had to pray and ask God for the administrative gifting. Thankfully He is gracious and blessed me to have a mind to oversee and look ahead. The planning became a part of me. I actually would go home thinking I was a month ahead. It has made for some funny conversations. 

Looking ahead to the new year I think it is good to try and see a new vision of what we want our year to look like. Simple questions can help in this process. What are you unsatisfied with? What would you like to change? What are your goals? If money wasn't an issue what would you do? Why are you letting money stop you from it? 

I guess the whole point is to get some sort of vision. Allow yourself to dream. Part of the Holy Spirit's job description in the book of John is to show us things to come. Pray and ask God to show you what is ahead this coming year. Why wait until New Year's Eve to make a resolution because someone asks you what your resolutions are? You can start looking ahead now. 

Do you have any dreams for next year? How do you plan to accomplish them?

Day 231 - The Wet Blanket

"It put a damper on the whole night."

Have you ever been in a tense conversation where you were trying to work things out. Maybe you were the mediator and were trying to get people to come together in love and forgiveness. Just when you are getting breakthrough and think there is a resolution one of the people says "I have just one more thing I would like to say." Then they drop a bomb on the conversation that explodes into another argument. You walk away wondering if you just wasted the hours you put into the relationship. 

This has happened to me more than once. It ends up being a black cloud that hovers over the situation. There is not much you can do in these situations other than pray, laugh and get back to the basics. 

Prayer is a tool we often overlook. When a person brings up something at the end of a conversation or is holding onto bitterness or unforgiveness prayer is the tool that will heal and release the issue. If you can get people with the Lord He can heal the wounds. You should pray before, during and after you talk. If God is in it He will work it out. 

Laughter can break through the coldest heart. You have to be careful with this though because it can also turn bad. If the moment warrants a laugh or even a chuckle then seize it. That smile will literally change the course of the conversation. 

Getting back to the basics is always good in these situations. Once I was trying to figure out a story and had to write and draw pictures just to get it right. When you can get the basics of love, respect and communication down the rest will often fall into place. Simplicity will uncomplicate a sticky situation and allow for resolution. 

What other tools would you add to my list? Which of these three would you say is the most important?

Day 219 - Conflict Resolution

"Both parties are pointing the finger at each other's faults and both are not walking in love nor are they believing the best." 

3...2...1...conflict! It happens that fast. Someone says something cross and your blood boils. "They were stupid!" "They were wrong!" "They, they, they!" 

You can tell a person who is full of themselves by how many times they say "I" but you can tell someone who is not open to their faults when you hear them say "they".  

We are responsible for our own actions. I can't make choices for other people but I can choose how I respond. 

3 quick ways to resolve conflict with 3...2...1...

3. Stop pointing the finger at others. 

What are you responsible for in the conflict? Can you make a change that will help resolve the issue? Pointing the finger will only hurt; not help. 

2. Walk in love. 

The Bible says that love covers the multitude of sins. Forgive through the power of love and move forward. Love is the most powerful force in the universe because God is love. When we operate in love it will work out better than when we operate in offenses. 

1. Believe the best. 

When we choose to believe the best the future is brighter. Often when dealing with forgiveness and conflict resolution I find people don't know how to move forward. They don't want to get hurt again so the close off their heart and don't allow people back in. Love believes the best. When we believe the best we open our hearts and let people back in. Yes there is the risk we may get hurt again but love covers that too. I am not saying to be foolish or to put yourself in a sinful, harmful or foolish predicament. What I am saying is with wisdom and faith you can move forward and be vulnerable to believe the best and let people in through love and forgiveness. 

It is as easy as 3...2...1...

Have you seen these principles work in your life? Is there any other wisdom you could add to resolving a conflict?