"I found out he had been in rehab for alcohol addiction. It almost broke up his family but he said his wife stuck with him. I could tell he was ashamed and didn't want to really open up too much. I just gently pushed and he told me about it once he knew I was genuinely interested and wasn't just making small talk. I told him I was proud of him and he teared up and thanked me for really asking him and not just passing by."
The title of this post sounds like what my kids often try to do to each other at the edge of the pool. They don't want to get caught shoving their siblings in to the water so they look at me while gently try to edge their brother or sister over the edge. Most of the time I would catch on to what they were doing and stop them.
My thought from last year isn't kids playing jokes. It is a subtle push that most people need in order to know that you care. Yes, you may be trying to get them over the edge of something but the motive isn't mischievous. Genuine care in a fake world is hard to find. Have you noticed?
There have been times I have been on the receiving end of the push and appreciated it later. I was just reading about a day when I had the wrong attitude and went in to a situation with guns blazing only to have someone who cared about me remind me of what my purpose was in a direct but very lovingly gentle way. It made all the difference. If fact once I crossed over in to sanity again I became the one giving others the same encouragement that I had received.
There are people in the world who are looking for genuine relationships and real contact with others. They may be popular on social media or well known at work but when you get in close proximity you find they are lonely and searching for someone to share life with. While I risk sounding cliche the old saying is true that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
Some of the words that pops out to me when I read about the Apostle Paul's ministry in his own words are genuine, sincere and care. He really loved the people he ministered to. So much so that at one point he likens himself to a nursing mother. How is that for imagery!? But could it be that this is the real reason why God was able to use him so mightily? He really loved and cared for the people. Not like a little brother pushing to get a laugh but like a mother pushing to get greatness out of her child. You can imagine him praying and preaching and pushing until he saw what he was desiring in the churches.
In the Proverbs it says that a soft answer can turn away great wrath and a gentle answer can break a bone. It may be that we fear the backlash of someone who is closed up. But if the push is giving in the right spirit it can have tremendous results.
Allow your love and care to push you to gently push others. Know where the boundary lines are and make sure your motives are pure. If you do this right though it will make all the difference in someone elses life.
Have you ever had that gentle push? How did it make you feel? Have you successfully given someone else this push? What does this look like in family vs. friendship?
