Day 231 - The Wet Blanket

"It put a damper on the whole night."

Have you ever been in a tense conversation where you were trying to work things out. Maybe you were the mediator and were trying to get people to come together in love and forgiveness. Just when you are getting breakthrough and think there is a resolution one of the people says "I have just one more thing I would like to say." Then they drop a bomb on the conversation that explodes into another argument. You walk away wondering if you just wasted the hours you put into the relationship. 

This has happened to me more than once. It ends up being a black cloud that hovers over the situation. There is not much you can do in these situations other than pray, laugh and get back to the basics. 

Prayer is a tool we often overlook. When a person brings up something at the end of a conversation or is holding onto bitterness or unforgiveness prayer is the tool that will heal and release the issue. If you can get people with the Lord He can heal the wounds. You should pray before, during and after you talk. If God is in it He will work it out. 

Laughter can break through the coldest heart. You have to be careful with this though because it can also turn bad. If the moment warrants a laugh or even a chuckle then seize it. That smile will literally change the course of the conversation. 

Getting back to the basics is always good in these situations. Once I was trying to figure out a story and had to write and draw pictures just to get it right. When you can get the basics of love, respect and communication down the rest will often fall into place. Simplicity will uncomplicate a sticky situation and allow for resolution. 

What other tools would you add to my list? Which of these three would you say is the most important?

Day 219 - Conflict Resolution

"Both parties are pointing the finger at each other's faults and both are not walking in love nor are they believing the best." 

3...2...1...conflict! It happens that fast. Someone says something cross and your blood boils. "They were stupid!" "They were wrong!" "They, they, they!" 

You can tell a person who is full of themselves by how many times they say "I" but you can tell someone who is not open to their faults when you hear them say "they".  

We are responsible for our own actions. I can't make choices for other people but I can choose how I respond. 

3 quick ways to resolve conflict with 3...2...1...

3. Stop pointing the finger at others. 

What are you responsible for in the conflict? Can you make a change that will help resolve the issue? Pointing the finger will only hurt; not help. 

2. Walk in love. 

The Bible says that love covers the multitude of sins. Forgive through the power of love and move forward. Love is the most powerful force in the universe because God is love. When we operate in love it will work out better than when we operate in offenses. 

1. Believe the best. 

When we choose to believe the best the future is brighter. Often when dealing with forgiveness and conflict resolution I find people don't know how to move forward. They don't want to get hurt again so the close off their heart and don't allow people back in. Love believes the best. When we believe the best we open our hearts and let people back in. Yes there is the risk we may get hurt again but love covers that too. I am not saying to be foolish or to put yourself in a sinful, harmful or foolish predicament. What I am saying is with wisdom and faith you can move forward and be vulnerable to believe the best and let people in through love and forgiveness. 

It is as easy as 3...2...1...

Have you seen these principles work in your life? Is there any other wisdom you could add to resolving a conflict?