Day 289 - Playing the Silence

"I stayed silent so as to not sin with my mouth or speak rashly."

In music there is a note that you intentionally play silence. It is called a rest. I believe that there are times we need to give our tongues a rest.

Many times silence is the best answer. I have found that if I can be slow to anger and slow to speak I will not only have all the information I need but I can also calculate my answers and people will listen more because I haven't been talking. In fact, the Bible says in Proverbs that where words are in abundance sin is not absent.

Our tongues steer our lives. When we talk out of emotion or condition we run the risk of steering in the wrong direction. I would rather play the rest and focus my heart to speak the Word of God so I get going in the right direction.

It will not only help our direction but our relationships, marriages, parenting, work and witness. When we can think properly and communicate in a way that imparts grace and our speech is seasoned with salt who wouldn't want to hear what we have to say? You have to play the rest so that when your part comes in it is harmonious with the other voices.

The most important voice we want to be in agreement with is God's voice. If I fly off the handle or allow anger and bitterness to spring forth from my lips then I am in opposition to the Word of God. When I play the rest and then speak in turn with what God says then I will have the pleasure of God and the power of God on my side.

As you go throughout your day take time to listen. If you are confronted with sour attitudes or situations that make your blood boil don't be like the tea kettle that whistles out to let everyone know how hot you are. If you can submit your tongue to the power of the Holy Spirit, play the rest and stay silent, then when you speak it will be graceful loving words that build instead of break.

Is it a struggle for you to stay silent or do you wish you could speak up more? How do you know what the appropriate time and place to speak is?

Day 217 - How To Get Breakfast

"This morning Chloe lamented that she only ate a little bit of eggs at camp and should have ate more which resulted in an all out cooking spree on Jess' part. I wasn't complaining because my omelet was good."

Our family enjoys cooking. I wish our kids enjoyed eating the food as much they enjoy preparing it. 

In our house the best way to get breakfast is to compliment the cook. When the question is asked "What do you want for breakfast?" do not answer "Whatever". The response will be "Then have a bowl of cereal". If you want breakfast you should answer the question with a compliment. It should go something like this; "Remember that French toast you made that was so good? Do you think we could have that again?" Voila! French toast. 

Some would suggest this is manipulation. I would suggest this is an honest answer with a compliment mixed in for good measure. The cook feels good about what they are serving and you feel good about what you are eating. 

You would be surprised how far a compliment will go. Again, not for manipulation but rather, for edification. People will only go as far as you encourage them. I might add that if you want people to enjoy being around you that a compliment will make that happen. 

In the workplace it will make for a smooth and uplifting work environment. When you need involvement from other departments on a project you could ask for help, or, you could compliment the strengths of that department and ask for help. Your work environment will be pleasant and the job will get done better. 

Apply the principle to marriage. How much better would your marriage be if you complimented your spouse? Don't just get breakfast get a great marriage. Compliment without asking for anything! When you do need something your spouse will be there for it because they not only love you but they like you too! Chances are you complimented when you were dating and may have forgotten how after the wedding day (I'm speaking to husbands there...). 

One time my wife complimented the job I did fixing a toilet in our house and afterward I was looking for things to fix. The point is we need to speak good things about people and to people. The Bible calls it 'necessary edification'. It won't cost you anything but a thoughtful speech and will improve you life. 

Do you enjoy being complimented? How else can this principle be applied?

Day 206 - The Art of the Edit

"The message could have been huge so I had to edit way down."

There is always more to say than there is time to say it. The message could get long. There is an art to editing your message. Clear, concise and well thought out. 

Not everything that could be said is applicable. Get rid of it. It won't help drive home the point. 

Lots of what is said is redundant. Rather than reinforcing your message it is reducing the interest. Repetition is one thing, redundancy is quite another. 

I find that if I place myself in the seat of my audience, whether that is one on one or in a group setting, that my message will become clearer. If you as yourself, "What am I saying?" "What is the main point?" and "Is this clearly understood?" your message will come through and the edits will be easy. 

The principles here apply to business presentations, witnessing, and any other public speaking you may be doing. It will be clear and clearly understood. 

Is most of your speaking public or one on one? How can editing your message help in your speaking to others?

Day 87 - Why Didn't You Say So?

"Why Didn't You Say So?"

This phrase usually follows me saying so. The times that it doesn't it is usually because it shouldn't be said (whatever 'it' is). Our words can hurt, help and even heal.

I have hurt people with my words before. It always ends up hurting me too. When I intentionally hurt people with my words it hurts me in the end that my heart is in the wrong place. That is where using words to heal is important. Some of the most important words we can ever say are "I am sorry, please forgive me". The same goes for when I unintentionally hurt someone with my words. Even if my intent was pure love covers and apologies help.

I am a preaching pastor so it is my job to use words to help people. My preaching and teaching focus is to help people with their relationship with God and living by what He says in the Bible. God is our best example. He speaks and declares things that aren't as if they were. Jesus spoke encouragement, love, wisdom and life into people. We have that same ability. Let's say so!

How have you helped others with your words? What are some other important words or phrases we should use often?